The surrogacy journey is an incredibly emotional and transformative experience for both intended parents and surrogates. Establishing a strong, healthy relationship with your surrogate is key to ensuring a positive experience for everyone involved. However, it’s essential to approach this relationship with respect, clear communication, and well-defined boundaries to create a balanced and supportive partnership.
The Importance of a Strong Relationship with Your Surrogate
Your surrogate is doing something extraordinary—helping you build your family. A good relationship can make the journey more enjoyable and emotionally fulfilling for both sides. When intended parents and surrogates connect on a foundation of trust and mutual respect, it fosters a sense of teamwork and shared purpose, reducing stress and uncertainty throughout the process.
How to Build a Healthy Relationship with Your Surrogate
1. Establish Open and Honest Communication
Clear and honest communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship, including the one you share with your surrogate. From the beginning, set expectations about how often and through which methods (text, phone calls, video chats, or in-person meetings) you will communicate. Be mindful that while frequent updates can be reassuring, it’s important not to overwhelm your surrogate.
2. Respect Boundaries
Every surrogate has different comfort levels regarding communication and involvement. Some may enjoy regular check-ins and developing a close bond with the intended parents, while others may prefer a more professional dynamic. Discuss boundaries early on to ensure everyone feels comfortable. Respecting her personal space, privacy, and autonomy over her daily life is crucial to maintaining a positive relationship.
3. Show Gratitude and Appreciation
Your surrogate is making an incredible commitment to help you become parents. Small gestures of appreciation—such as sending thank-you notes, expressing verbal gratitude, or even thoughtful gifts—can go a long way in showing your appreciation for her efforts. However, always make sure these gestures align with her preferences and comfort level.
4. Involve Her in Key Milestones
Many surrogates enjoy feeling included in significant moments, such as ultrasound appointments or baby showers (if she is comfortable attending). Keeping her involved in a way that aligns with her comfort level can help strengthen the bond you share. However, always ask for her input before making assumptions about her level of involvement.
5. Foster a Relationship That Works for Both of You
Every surrogate-intended parent relationship is unique. Some surrogates and intended parents develop lifelong friendships, while others maintain a warm yet professional relationship throughout the process. Let the relationship develop naturally without pressure or unrealistic expectations. Focus on what feels right for both parties.
Handling Challenges with Sensitivity
No relationship is without its challenges, and surrogacy is no exception. If conflicts or misunderstandings arise, address them with patience, empathy, and respect. Having a third-party mediator, such as your surrogacy agency, can help navigate difficult conversations and ensure that all parties feel heard and respected.
Maintaining the Relationship After Birth
The bond between surrogates and intended parents doesn’t necessarily end once the baby is born. Some intended parents and surrogates choose to stay in touch, exchanging occasional updates or even maintaining a friendship. Others may naturally transition to a more distant connection. Whatever the case, it’s important to discuss post-birth expectations in advance to ensure a smooth transition for both parties.
Stronger Together Surrogacy: Supporting You Every Step of the Way
Navigating the surrogacy process can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to do it alone. At Stronger Together Surrogacy, we specialize in fostering positive and respectful relationships between intended parents and surrogates. Our expert guidance ensures that both parties feel supported, informed, and comfortable throughout the journey.
If you’re ready to begin your surrogacy journey or want to learn more about building a healthy relationship with your surrogate, contact Stronger Together Surrogacy today. Let us help you create a fulfilling and positive surrogacy experience built on trust, respect, and support.
