You are coming to the end of your surrogacy journey with your surrogate!! Your Stronger Together Surrogacy Journey Coordinator reaches out saying it is time to create your surrogacy birth guide. Where do you start and what is in a birth guide?
What is a Surrogacy Birth Guide?
A surrogacy birth guide helps you and the surrogate communicate your Labor & Delivery preferences. It will allow for open communication to reduce anxiety and offer a way to reduce last minute decisions. It ensures you, your surrogate, and the medical team, are all on the same page. Your surrogacy birth guide is like a wish list of what you would like during delivery if everything went smoothly. Remember, labor can be unpredictable, setting ‘birth guide’ over a ‘birth plan’, may be a better way to approach it.
Labor & Delivery Preferences
What are your preferences on location? With almost all journeys, the Surrogate delivers at a Level 2 or 3 NICU hospital, unless otherwise agreed upon. If your surrogate is carrying multiples or there is reason for additional support, they will need to deliver at a level 2 NICU hospital.
What types of pain management would your surrogate like? During labor, your surrogate can walk, sit, or be in any comfortable positions. If your surrogate has received an epidural, they can be in different positions in the hospital bed.
What is your preferred delivery method? Vaginal birth or a c-section (cesarean) are the two forms of birth. A VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) is also an option for the Surrogate if she has had a c-section before and she is a good candidate. Sometimes c-sections are planned, and other times it is not planned, your surrogate birth guide will outline how this process works, should the delivery method need to adjust quickly.
Who will be present during labor? This is commonly discussed during matching, so you may have an idea already. Your surrogate will decide which primary support person she is most comfortable having in the delivery room. Some surrogates will have their support person and the intended parents, and others prefer to only have their support person. You could also discuss who would be in the OR (Operating Room), should a c-section be required.
How would you like the atmosphere in the Labor & Delivery room? Your surrogate is going through a difficult process, she should have the primary choice of what makes her feel most comfortable. That can include preferences for lighting, music, noise level, essential oils, and more.
Immediately After Delivery
When and how would you like the umbilical cord cut? Most hospitals have limits on delayed cord-clamping, and the maximum allowed time varies. It is important to know this if it is important to you and you want to request a delay. Many parents choose to cut the umbilical cord themself. If you are a couple, this should be discussed prior to delivery. If you are traveling to her or traveling international, it is a good idea to make sure your surrogate is given a back up plan, should labor come early.
Cord blood banking and why? Cord blood banking is the collecting and storing of a newborn’s umbilical cord blood for potential future use. It contains stem cells that can be used to treat different diseases. Cord blood banking can be a good option for Intended Parents who used genetics that are ethnically diverse or may have a genetic disorder.
What newborn care would you like for your baby? Would you like your baby to receive a Vitamin K shot to prevent bleeding disorders or a Hepatitis B vaccine? How about for them to have eye drops to prevent eye infections? Would you like your baby to have blood tests to screen for metabolic and genetic disorders? There are definitely lots of tests hospitals like and need to do to discharge the baby.
What if I don’t make it in time for Delivery?
It is extremely hard knowing when baby is coming, as they make their own schedules. Stronger Together Surrogacy requests Intended Parents to be near the hospital 3 weeks in advance of the estimated due date! However, unexpected things happen, so it is important to put together a surrogate birth guide where she knows your preferences and is appointed to be, or you have a POA (Power of Attorney) present for your child. We are thankful of technology for intended parents to possibly still witness their Childs birth with a video call.
Postpartum Care Preferences
Would you like immediate skin-to-skin with your baby? Many intended parents can have immediate skin-to-skin contact with their baby after birth. Your birth guide will cover the importance of this step in bonding with your baby.
How will your baby be fed? Usually, a pregnant person will produce colostrum rapidly after giving birth. This can be hand expressed by the surrogate or pumped, and beneficial to the infant. If your surrogate agrees to provide this, it will typically be expressed within the first hour. Within a short time, she may be able to pump small amounts and her supply will increase with time. The hospital may have a supply of donated breast milk, premixed formula, or you can bring your own.
Will you allow for visitors? You may want your family and friends to visit while you’re in the hospital, or you may prefer some alone time as new parents. Many intended parents choose to let the surrogate visit while in the hospital, and typically this offers a nice ‘closure’ to the journey for both parents and the surrogate.
If you are having a boy, would you like to have him circumcised? In the USA, it is common to be asked if you would like to have your baby boy circumcised. The hospital staff can complete this if requested, then they will monitor and send you home with care instructions.
Tips for a Successful Surrogacy Birth Guide
After researching each element of a surrogacy birth guide, it’s time to talk with your surrogate so you can discuss your expectations. Start discussing things as early as possible. Have open conversations about your hopes and preferences, while listening to your surrogate. They have done this before and are experience with their own births. Remember to be flexible and prepared to adapt the surrogacy birth guide as needed. If at any point you or your surrogate are having a hard time communicating, Stronger Together Surrogacy can help facilitate the creation of your surrogacy birth guide. If you need a little more guidance on what you should be researching here is a Free Birth Plan from Earth Mama Organics1.
- Free Birth Plan Earth Mama Organics – https://earthmamaorganics.com/pages/free-birth-plan
